Category Archives: Musings

Selfish People

Our local McDonald’s sometimes has free newspapers for customers to read while they’re having their meal. I sometimes go there just for a hash brown and a coffee and a good read. The newspaper belongs to the establishment and does not leave the premises with the customer, unless McDonald’s is offering a free paper to take away with their breakfasts, which sometimes happens. After you’ve read the newspaper, the unspoken agreement is that you either pass it onto someone else who may want to read it, or you place it back on the countertop for anyone else coming in later.

I was at McDonald’s on Saturday with my son, for breakfast before going to the cinema to watch the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles movie. As we sat down, I noticed a woman in her 60s at a nearby table with the weekend papers. Now, the Weekend West, as our newspaper is called, is a veritable tome, comprising a main news section, and various other pull-out supplementaries such as Fashion, Lifestyle, Travel, Sports, Entertainment, Gardening and Children’s.

The woman was reading one of the pull-out supplementaries, so I approached her and asked if she was done with the main news section of the paper. She looked up at me and immediately placed a proprietal hand over the newspaper, while shaking her head and saying no, she was still reading it.

Fair enough. I could wait a while til she finished. My son and I ate our meal and I kept my eye on the woman, so I could ask her again for the newspaper once she’d finished.

She finished the supplement she was reading. Then she dug into her handbag and brought out a piece of tissue paper. She delved into her bag again…and brought out a bottle of, wait for it…nail polish remover! She then placed her elbows right on top of the pile of newspapers on her table and proceeded to meticulously clean her fingernails. One by one. Slowly and patiently. While the unread papers lay there.

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I couldn’t believe my eyes.

What this woman did next was even more selfish than I’d already observed. A little boy, presumably her grandson, ran in from the playground outside and climbed onto the chair next to her. She immediately put away her nail polish remover and started to play with him. Did she put aside the newspapers so someone else could read them? Of course not. She let the little monster rifle his grubby hands through the papers instead, and laughed delightedly when pamphlets, brochures and mini magazine supplements went scattering onto the floor. Did she pick them up? Of course not.

The little boy was joined by his father, mother and 3 siblings of a similar age. The kids ran off back to the playground soon after, but their parents sat talking to the woman. All that time the newspapers lay on the table between them, unread.

We were at McDonald’s 30 minutes. And in that time, that selfish woman cleaned her nails, played with her grandson and had a conversation with her son and daughter-in-law. Time spent actually reading that newspaper?

Zero.

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Okay, rant over. But I don’t get it. How can some people be so selfish, self-centred and inconsiderate? Maybe she was just ignorant? Because I sure wouldn’t like the other plausible explanation…which is that she had deliberately made up her mind NOT to let anyone have the papers, as a show of power, because it made her feel good about herself.

One thing’s for sure. Selfish people like that woman are part of the reason why this world of ours is so riddled by malaise, apathy and ignorance. Kindness is free and costs nothing, we should spread that around at every opportunity. Practice random acts of kindness wherever you are, and whenever you can. The seeds of happiness lie within acts of mindful kindness.

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http://www.alyzenmoonshadow.wix.com/alyzenmoonshadow

INCANDESCENCE

She had a way about her
That lit up the room
When she entered it
She did not even have to try

Incandescent
That’s the word for it
She had an Incandescence
About her Being

Pure and simple
Effortless joy
A presence that filled
The heart with pleasure

Not an earthly pleasure
But a higher one
That of lighting the mind
Like a light bulb glowing

She was a being evolved
Like no other human
Therefore, when the time came
She simply shook off her physical form

And so she is Now
Truly Incandescent
And Nascent Everywhere
Now her real work begins

She is the First Light of Dawn
The Last Rays at Sunset
And All that’s in between
Incandescent

image (Google Image : Scarlett Johansson from the film “Lucy”, 2014)

By:
AlyZen Moonshadow

Note:
I was inspired to write this poem after watching the superb movie “Lucy” starring Scarlett Johansson and Morgan Freeman. In the film, the main character, Lucy’s body gets infused with a synthetic drug called CH4, and her brain starts developing at an exponential rate, from a normal human’s 10% to ultimately, 100%. At that point Lucy has no further need for corporeal form, and transcends humanity into the very fabric of her environment…i.e she becomes Incandescent. She is Everywhere. If humans could ever utilise 100% of our brains, we would all be Gods.

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http://www.alyzenmoonshadow.wix.com/alyzenmoonshadow

Stop and smell the flowers.

Time was, I used to rush around like a headless chicken, day in, day out. I had places to go, things to do, people to see, targets to meet. Rush, rush, rush.

Nowadays, it’s a completely different story. If I’m hungry, I eat. If I’m tired, I sleep. And in between those events I fill my day with whatever I happen to be doing. Which could be jumping on my bicycle and going for a long ride. Or staying at home writing this blog. Or at the table trying out new crafts. Uploading more artwork online for my Licensors. Creating more art. Updating my Society 6 shop (oops, I admit I really must get back to doing that!). Practising my tarot and oracle card readings. Playing the piano. Hugging my hens. Playing with my dogs. Shopping.

My point is, at some stage you just got to remember to stop and smell the flowers. Okay, the saying is about roses. But you know what I mean. Make the time to slow down from the mad everyday mayhem, take a deep breath, close your eyes. And just be. Enjoy being in the present. There’s no hurry. There’s nothing more than just yourself being mindful, being in the Now.

Today was one of my long bike rides…to get to Bunnings to buy replacement mouse traps and rat poison. Ummm…not very Zenlike in my thinking, you’re thinking. True. But when you lift up the roof of the Japanese Quails’ shaded area and find not 1 but 8 quivering mice staring back at you with their little paws held to their shocked faces, (all except for the one who’s holding onto a stolen quail’s egg), and when Mr Rat in the ceiling above your bedroom keeps you up at night with his rolling bowling games and tequila slamming parties, then something has to be done.

Anyway, moving swiftly on. Along my adventures today I took time to enjoy some flowers. One was a surprise Dutch Iris growing in a pot where “Stick” my Frangipani was. I thought last year’s bloom had died, but obviously the plant had other ideas. It even had fresh morning dew still on its petals when I took my photos of it. Such a tart! 😄

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While in Bunnings (my local mega hardware/garden centre), I saw some pretty cherry and almond blossoms.

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And then on my way home, I noticed this purple flowering bush outside a house, so I stopped to take some photos. If anyone knows what plant this is, please do let me know! It’s gorgeous. I also managed to photograph a few bees doing their thing. I love bees.

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(All images here are straight out of my Samsung Galaxy S4’s native camera, and unedited. Great mobile phone, the S4!)

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http://www.alyzenmoonshadow.wix.com/alyzenmoonshadow

We Are All Born Of Stars

Inspired by a phrase I read in Eckhart Tolle’s brilliant book “A New Earth – Awakening to Your Life’s Purpose“:

THE ATOMS THAT MAKE UP YOUR BODY WERE ONCE FORGED INSIDE STARS, AND THE CAUSES OF EVEN THE SMALLEST EVENTS ARE VIRTUALLY INFINITE AND CONNECTED WITH THE WHOLE IN INCOMPREHENSIBLE WAYS

For some reason, I’m very taken by the first part of the phrase, so much so that I’ve been inspired to write a poem about it.

We are all born of stars

Not one, not many, but Infinite

We all glitter, we all shine

In our infinitesimal way

Reaching out to each other

Across the vast space that separates us

It is because we are so small in ourselves

That the Universe appears big

And the distance between us appears insurmountable

But the reality is this:

Because the atoms that make up your body

Were once forged inside stars

We Are the Stars

We Are the Universe

We Are One with each other

And our Life’s Purpose thus is to find each other

To connect, link and strengthen each other

There are no Problems, only Situations

And Solutions

Just Imagine how wonderful our world will be

If we all acknowledge this Universal Truth

That We Are All Born of Stars

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I also drew a card from the Tarot Illuminati on my mobile phone, that echoes the sentiments of Eckhart Tolle and my own poem. Here are the screenshots of the card and accompanying explanation:

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Feet Of Clay

Let me tell you a story. It’s not a new story, there are very few of those around nowadays. Like many other stories you would have heard, this one is as old as the hills, and as new as today’s newspaper. I’m just going to tell it in a different way, that’s all. The lesson is still the same, as it has been for millennia. The situations, events, circumstances, protagonists etc might all be slightly different, with an infinity of variations, but the archetypes are always the same.

Here’s how it goes:

Once upon a time there was a young girl who noticed a young man. Something about him caught her eye and fired her imagination. She started thinking about what it would be like to be with him all the time, holding his hand, looking into his eyes, hearing his voice uttering words of love. He was all she’d been waiting for her whole life. The future appeared to be a shining mass of bright light, filled with laughter, love and happiness, stretching as far as the eye could see, and beyond. Even the thought of him, and she thought about him all day long, filled her with longing and a deep, almost physical ache. Everything he did was great, brilliant, awesome.

He is quite The Catch.

And so our young lady sets out to get our young man’s attention. He already had a large circle of friends, both male and female. She joined in his social circles online, found out what he liked and disliked, learned about his preferences for Music and made them Her preferences too. Learned what his principles were and made them Her principles. He didn’t like chocolate, so she decided she didn’t either, even though she did. She did everything she could to fit in with his group and then when she felt she’d prepared enough, she set about trying to get his attention. Not to take him away from his friends, but to set herself apart in his eyes as a potential partner in Life. Why not? She’d moulded herself to be just like him, there was no reason for him not to be attracted to her. Surely he would recognise himself in her? She made herself smaller to fit in through the crack in the door of his soul.

And so she centres all her energy on The Courtship.

Her ploy seemed to have worked. Suddenly she found him paying her more attention than ever before. It was almost as if he’d suddenly woken up and noticed her standing before him. Suddenly he was spending a lot of his time with Her, sharing adventures, jokes and his innermost thoughts with her.  He couldn’t believe how much they shared in common. She was so easy to get on with, always had a kind word for him, was sweet, sexy and funny, supported his causes and interests, bought him CDs of his favourite bands, showed him news articles that she knew would interest him. He bought her flowers, took her out on her birthday, brought her around town in his car, surprised her with a romantic dinner, a weekend break in the country, a concert, introduced her to his family, bought her a diamond ring and promised her his eternal love and devotion.

Ahhh, Romance!

And so our intrepid young adventurers got married. They could not afford to buy their own place, so they rented at first. In the beginning, everything was new, rosy and exciting. They discussed having children, and started planning a family. Not long afterwards, out of the blue, he lost his job. She became the main breadwinner while he looked for jobs. The economy was not very good then, the bills started to mount up and still he didn’t have a job. She then found out she was pregnant, and she was not quite prepared for his reaction when she told him. He bemoaned the fact that now they would have another mouth to feed, when they could hardly pay the rent and utilities. She was shocked to her core, and started to wonder at his change of character. He, on the other hand, was enraged at her apparent lack of concern about their financial welfare. How dare she fall pregnant at a time like this? When the baby is born and she is on Maternity Leave, how would they survive if he still hasn’t found a job? What if the baby was ill, deformed or had a disability? How would they care for it then? For the first time, they had a major argument, and he hit her. He was really sorry for it right afterwards, blaming it on the stress of finding a job so he could look after the family. He promised it would never happen again. But it did.

The Honeymoon is over.

The cracks were starting to show in their relationship. She slowly came to realise that her husband’s feet were made of clay. He wasn’t the God she thought he was. For his part, she didn’t seem the genuine article either. Where was the girl that shared so many similarities with him, to the extent that she appeared like his twin soul? Had it only been a farce to win his admiration and attention? Had she changed? Had he changed? Why did they even get married, they had nothing in common? He realised he hadn’t really bothered to get to know the real her, as she’d made herself fit into his world and not the other way round. He decided he could no longer talk to his wife the way they used to. So he turned to his social media circles and started an affair with a mutual friend, who as it turned out also shared lots of things in common with him. SHE was always there for him, always had a kind word, was always on his side, appreciated him for who he was and never tried to change him, sent him little presents in the post, that he had to hide from his wife. She could have been thousands of miles away, or a few doors away, it didn’t matter. Her arms, virtual or real, were always wide open to welcome him, whereas his wife was preoccupied with other matters and had her own interests. All was going well until one day when details of his affair were discovered by his wife.

What a Rude Awakening!

She was naturally upset and disappointed by his betrayal, and wanted to know how he could do such a thing to her. Had their courtship, romance and marriage all been for nothing? Did their shared history not count for anything? How could he be looking for love elsewhere, when it had always been right there in front of him? Why did he? At first he denied the whole affair, but she had evidence. He tried to pretend that it was only a harmless flirtation, but again the evidence pointed to the contrary. He’d betrayed her trust, invested his time, attention, money and innermost thoughts with another woman. He’d even let the other woman play with his mind and turn him against his own wife. They’d even gotten as far as to promise to leave their respective spouses for each other. How was that a “harmless flirtation”?

This Isn’t What Anyone Expected!

So, what was the answer? Leave or stay? Go and accept the offer to start a new life with the mistress, and deal with the fallout and consequences later? Or stay and reconcile with the wife and promise to be faithful for evermore? Could he ever regain her trust, after what he’d done? Should he accept and admit his wrongdoing, and sincerely make amends for it? Or was his mistress right about his wife being cold and calculative? Did he really ever love his wife, or had he just been in love with the idea of her? As for her, the questions swirling in her mind at this time would be who would look after the family once the baby was born, if she was not at work. And if she could not afford to NOT be at work, who would look after the family while she was at work? Her husband sure didn’t seem interested in being a family man. One minute he promises her that he’d cut off all contact with his mistress, the next he’s back to claiming it wasn’t an affair and that he hadn’t been unfaithful. She knows for a fact that he hasn’t cut off all contact with his mistress, that they are still in touch and still discussing things that should only be discussed between a husband and wife. How can she trust him ever again? He could just be biding his time, playing nice to her until their circumstances improved, and then he’d be gone in a flash, leaving her holding the baby, literally. Where did his loyalties lie? Where had they ever lain? Was she setting herself up for a great fall?

Now we come to the Crossroads.

Choices, choices. Weighing up the pros and cons. No more thoughts about romance or love, just about survival. Could she be able to make it as a single parent? Would he be honourable and live up to his end of the bargain and help support their child? Why are they even bargaining? What happened to their relationship, how did it get to this Crossroads? She must decide whether to cut her losses and go, or stay and try to repair the damage her husband did. Why her? Because he won’t. For his part, he may feel a sense of responsibility or remorse for his actions, or not, but clearly he is torn. He could stay with this stranger who is his wife and try to patch up their relationship…but the temptation placed by his mistress is pulling him still, and he simply can’t bring himself to stop communicating with her. So he keeps going back to the drug that he’s become accustomed to, even though in his head he knows better than to do that. But for now his heart is leading him. It seems so much easier to just give in and go with the flow, rather than fight to regain what he had in the past. He thinks his wife is making a mountain out of a molehill. He just wants things to go back to the way they were before, when he was having his clandestine affair and she was not aware of it. If only she hadn’t found out when she did! He wants to have his cake and to eat it too.

After The Fighting, We All Rest A While.

Both our young lady and young man have now reached an impasse. Everything that had to be argued or discussed has already been argued and discussed. Maybe they just weren’t “meant to be”? They both withdraw internally and try to figure out what went wrong, and how to rectify things, how to reach a compromise. She reads books on relationships, she looks online for stories similar to her own, she joins forums and groups to find answers to her situation. She writes in metaphors and poetry to excoriate this painful period of her life. He throws himself into his hobbies, stays out at night or else holes up in his study. He starts looking at online sex sites for relief, and engages in conversations with total strangers, with the mistaken belief that he will find salvation there. She wonders if she would be better off with another man, one who would embody all that she thought her husband was, before his betrayal. She wonders if history will repeat itself, if all men are the same. He wonders if his mistress will still leave her husband for him, if he were to leave his wife. Unfortunately, by now, as happens quite often with unfaithful spouses, his mistress, being a serial adulterer, has found herself another toyboy, and has declared herself taken. For the moment, at least. But still he keeps going back and knocking at her door, out of force of habit and because he doesn’t know what else to do. He hasn’t bothered to do any soul-searching, to find any answers other than the obvious one staring him in the face. The child in him is hoping that it will all go away on its own and that miraculously, without any effort on his part, everything will be alright again. He misses his mother.

 The Next Step.

Now we have both our protagonists wondering what their next step should be. If she decides to let her husband go, there is no guarantee that the next man to walk into his life won’t be just as bad, or worse. There is also no guarantee that she’ll ever find another man who loves her…as she will not be single and free anymore, but a single parent struggling to make ends meet, and she is not getting any younger. That in itself is too high a hurdle for most men to jump. Many will simply look away and walk on. As for him, finding that his mistress is no longer available to him 24/7, he must decide whether to return to wooing his wife back all over again (once he’s worked out whether he really loves her or not) and regaining her trust, or to find another Catch. If the latter, then he goes back to repeat the first step in any relationship all over again. Karma will bite you in the arse!

If our young lady is smart, she will decide NOT to go looking for another relationship. Just let Life happen. Live in the Now, take things one day at a time, as they come. Work on raising her child and finding a means to support her family. Find herself. Whatever the case, DO NOT repeat the typical cycle of Love. If True Love exists, let it come in its own time. If it wants to. The form is not important, the Soul is. It might be another man, it might be a woman, it could even be her husband finally realising his faults and coming back to her. That is unlikely, until he accepts his wrongdoing. You cannot change what you do not accept.

Or, she may find it in the unconditional love, companionship and loyalty of her pets. It is what it is. Let Life Be.

Just be open to all possibilities. But DO NOT repeat the cycle, for that is just futile and the end results will be the same. Again, think in terms of archetypes, as every person is different, every situation unique.

~Don’t say I didn’t warn you~

feet-of-clay(I got this image from a fellow blogger who I’m following, whose descriptions about her own efforts at positive living are in turns inspiring, heartfelt or just downright funny. http://dailydoty.files.wordpress.com/2013/05/feet-of-clay.jpg)

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Spaces

I stumbled upon Frankie Magazine’s large format 2010 bookzine SPACES – WHERE CREATIVE PEOPLE LIVE, WORK AND PLAY at my local thrift shop. It was a real steal at $2.(RRP $24.95).

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Inside was a cornucopia of delightful photographic images showing well, how creative people live, work and play. The bookzine is divided into 5 sections: The Home & Work Place, The Wall Space, The Studio Space, The Tea & Coffee Space, The Living Space. Each section showcases several individuals’ personal areas, with the owners of each space explaining why or how their space is the way it is.

Sadly, I have been unable to source SPACES online for anyone wanting to purchase it. There are several references to it on booksellers’ sites, however they all seem to indicate its unavailability. So, this is a rare book to have and cherish. If you see it, grab it.

I was drawn to this bookzine as I was curious to see how other artists from around the world live and work. My own “studio” at home is a shared space during the warmer months with baby Japanese Quail chicks. It is also the spare room, the store room, the general let’s-dump-it-there-til-we-can-figure-out-what-to-do-with-it room. My Canon Pixma MX870 and Epson Artisan 1430 printers reside there. So do boxes of books, linen, clothes, scrapbooking paper, canvasses and other substrates for my printing experiments, our sofabed for non-existent guests. My work area is the carpeted floor, where I simply spread out layers of butcher paper and lay my canvasses or wooden frames over. Luckily, my medium being digital and print, there’s no (not much anyway) painting paraphernalia involved, only bottles of acrylic medium which I use as an adhesive, spray cans of car gloss varnish and workable fixative, a brayer, scissors, a tube of black acrylic paint for painting over borders, some foam brushes and a couple of bristle brushes. Nothing to shout about, really. Certainly not worthy of showing off here :-).

This link takes you to a webpage showcasing several famous artists’ studios. Specifically that of Francis Bacon, Henry Moore, Pierre-Auguste Renoir, Jackson Pollock and Paul Cezanne. This site shows the spaces of more contemporary artists (cheekily throwing in Francis Bacon and Henry Moore too, just to make sure the reader is awake and paying attention!).

Looking at an artist’s workspace or studio is like looking into someone’s refrigerator, or at their bookshelves – very revealing about the person’s tastes in food or books. Some day I hope to visit people’s homes that have magnificent book displays, and make a photo book out of the project, but that is another story.

Meanwhile, feast your eyes on some of these wonderful artist workspaces.

http://www.allworknowplay.com

http://www.resourcemagonline.com

http://www.wejetset.com

http://balzerdesigns.typepad.com

http://www/bundaberg.qld.gov.au

http://www.mmo-champion.com

http://workspaces.tumblr.com

http://potd.pdnonline.com

One thing I’ve learnt from looking through all these studio workspaces – they can be messy, they can be neat, they can be minimal or cluttered, big or small, modern or traditional…but they are all unique and most of all, comfortable to each individual artist. These days, as both my printers are either acting up or have run out of ink, I’m concentrating mainly on creating my artwork…and to me that means working primarily on my Samsung Galaxy S4 smartphone. Which allows me to work literally everywhere and anywhere. For which I am eternally grateful.

The Kaleidoscope Turns

Light through a prism
Shines through my prison
Of tears and a blanket of sorrow
And with that light
Comes the hope that I might
Find Love again tomorrow

Light that is fractured
And is quite unexpected
Shatters the mirror of my heart
The colours that I see
Hold deep meaning for me
Of the promise of a brand new start

Light that is bright
And full of delight
For the heart that longs and yearns
Shines now the way
To light a new day
For look! The Kaleidoscope turns.

By:
AlyZen Moonshadow

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Quit Liking It! Say Something Instead.

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There’s a new thing surfaced on Facebook just now, about how to improve your Facebook experience, by simply NOT hitting the “Like” button. Strange as that may sound, and somewhat illogical, it IS true and it actually works. The premise is that if you DON’T click on the “Like” button, but instead leave comments on posts that interest you, Facebook’s algorithms will actually stop sending you all those annoying links to “Like” this business or that organisation, that celebrity, that political party, that new diet etc. Your feed will instead become more human, with more people entering into actual conversations than never before. All those friends that you’ve  lost into the FB ether may resurface when your feed isn’t top-heavy with news, business, videos etc that your previous clicking on “Like” generated. Try it!

Read these 2 articles about this strategy. The first one by Medium is about NOT clicking on Facebook’s “Like” button and the consequences. The second is by Wired where the writer did the total opposite and clicked “Like” on absolutely everything in their feed.

https://medium.com/@schmutzie/i-quit-liking-things-on-facebook-for-two-weeks-heres-how-it-changed-my-view-of-humanity-29b5102abace

http://www.wired.com/2014/08/i-liked-everything-i-saw-on-facebook-for-two-days-heres-what-it-did-to-me/

So, okay, I’ve only just started this experiment, and right now I’ve no idea how long I’m going to stick to it, or whether it’ll be a lifelong practice.  Even though I actually only started 5 days ago, already I’m seeing a change in my Facebook feed, and I’m feeling way better about myself as a person, as I feel I’ve learnt a great lesson. And that is why I feel prompted to blog about it right away NOW!

Anyway, here are my thoughts on it:

1. It makes me pause and think before I comment. I may be using the 👍 button quite a bit to start with. I have found myself skipping posts that are of no concern to me, instead of simply clicking the “Like” button to acknowledge it because it may have come from a friend. So, my friends who are reading this, apologies if I no longer “like” your comments, posts or images, but rest assured you will instead find a comment from me. 👍 See, I’ve started already! 😄

2. I get more selective about what interests me. The real things that matter get my attention more than updates on who’s cooking or eating what, selfies, who’s on holiday where, online shopping deals, cute kittens (hard one, that). Hopefully, my feed will be more about the things that really matter to the world – like decriminalising cannabis, for one (this will sound strange coming from someone who’s only experience with cannabis was a puff on a joint at a party in Spain 10 years ago. But I have been following Rick Simpson and fellow advocates of the miracle cancer-beating properties of cannabis oil, and I have lost friends and family to cancer in the past and very recently, so the subject is close to my heart).

3. If everyone does this, we’ll be getting many more notifications than before, as more people engage in actual conversation instead of the passive virtual nod which is the “Like” button. As a society, we seem to have somewhat lost the art of conversation. By not clicking on the “Like” button and by saying something instead, we encourage further discussion and communication between friends, which is what Facebook should be about. It’s time to regain control of the true value of Facebook.

4. Funnily enough, with my actively telling Facebook what I “don’t want to see again” re: pages and businesses, it seems to have freed up space in my Wall feed for previously disappeared friends to reappear. So far, around 6 people who quietly vanished from my feed have returned…and without my searching for them to “like” their photos or make comments on their posts yo keep in the loop. Maybe it’s just a coincidence, I can’t be certain.

So, to those of you who have read this, I would kindly ask that you not simply click “Like” on WordPress either, but instead say something about this post. If it moves you to comment, do it. Otherwise, simply share it with your circles in another way. The same goes for every post that you read and like. Quit Liking It! Say something instead. And watch the world unfold before your very eyes. I’m waiting. :-)

 

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http://www.alyzenmoonshadow.wix.com/alyzenmoonshadow

Carpe Diem

Well, actually, no. Take away the last letters of each word in the title above, and you’ll have a fair idea of what I’m talking about.

We have about 17 Japanese Koi (or carp) and goldfish in a large, square pond out the back of our house. I say 17 because they never stay still long enough for me to do a proper headcount.

Make that 16.

I found one this morning, not swimming like its friends, but just floating and occasionally zipping out of the water all aflutter, before sinking back into the water. Most strange. I dosed the water with green multi-ailment liquid, added tap water conditioner, algicide, aquarium salt, cleaned out the sponge filter, topped up the pond with fresh water. I even held the poor fish in my hands and willed it to get better.

All to no avail. The poor thing carried on for half an hour more, with its friends gathering round and nudging it, either to encourage it to rally round, or to say good bye. It was quite touching watching them. I left it in the pond for 15 minutes more, in case it was just playing dead.

When I was truly convinced it was dead, I went into the house to get a sheet of butcher paper to wrap it in (it was a big fish, about 15 inches long). It was then I got the idea of preserving the memory of the fish on paper. It was, after all, the largest fish in our pond, and one of my favourites. :'(

Now, my cousin HM loves to fish, and he’s had some very good results with the art of Gyotaku, or fish rubbing. In fact, I wrote about him not too long ago, here.

So I decided I’d follow my cousin’s example and do my own Gyotaku with my carp before burying it. It would be a way of remembering it, and honouring it in a manner of speaking. One last dance together.

And here is how we did it.

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I quickly learnt that it’s better and easier to rub the paper over the fish, instead of placing the fish on the paper. My cousin HM used Japanese handmade rice paper, but all I had was butcher paper. My hands got stained with the food dye because I was handling the fish rather than the paper at first.
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(Anyone want to read my palms? Go ahead! 😄)

My studio is awash with fish! Some came out good, others too watery to capture much detail. Below are some of the clearer imprints. Not as good as my cousin’s, but they will serve as memorials to my fish.

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Carpe Diem!

P/S: Due to one reader’s rather insensitive remarks to me, about the fish ending up all covered in “blicky food colouring” and “smashed up in butcher paper” to become “fish fertiliser for roses”, I think I should explain what happened to my fish friend afterwards. I washed all the food dye off, then wrapped it in a fresh sheet of butcher paper. Then I dug a hole in the plant trough by our swimming pool and buried it there. I put an old log and a pot of hen & chicks over the grave, to prevent any cats from getting at it. It’s right next to Valiant, my baby Japanese quail with splayed legs that I tried to help but that drowned in its water bowl back in November last year.

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People Come, People Go

I truly believe that people come into your life for a reason, and sometimes, once that reason is finished, the lesson learnt, the person leaves. Sometimes people only stay for a short while, sometimes for a long time. But in the end, as with Life, everything goes away or changes. It doesn’t mean that you forget that person; if the lesson you’ve learnt from them is of great importance, you will always remember them with gratitude.

Someone remarked to me only recently that I must have been “ascending spiritually” for a long time now. All I can say is that in the past, when such synchronicities or serendipitous events happened to me, I failed to acknowledge them for the lessons that they were, failed to see the bigger picture. So much for being spiritually awake! It’s only very recently that I’ve started to notice patterns in behaviour and events, and recognise them as the Universe trying to tell me something. As you can tell, I’m not terribly clued-up about these things! Maybe in the past I got lulled into a false sense of security by work, marriage and family life, or perhaps my life became too unsettled for me to pay close attention to such metaphysical aspects. Until now.

For the last 20 years of my life, I’ve gravitated towards older women friends. They’re generally 15-20 years older than myself. Perhaps it’s because I am an old soul myself, and that was seeking a similar soul to connect with. Perhaps it’s because I needed to know these women and learn Life’s lessons from them. Maybe I needed a Mother figure. I don’t know. So far, I’ve had 5 such friends – Christine, Beverly, Jan, Yvonne, Sheila. That can’t be a co-incidence, right?

Just the other day, an Event happened that culminated in my latest older woman friend, Sheila, deciding to terminate our friendship of 3 years. Her choice, not mine. I won’t go into too much detail here, but it had to do with her starting to become increasingly critical of me and my son whenever we were out together, over a period of months. I found myself constantly having to tell them to stop picking on each other. The straw that broke the camel’s back was one ridiculous incident where Sheila kept insisting that something that was clearly green was blue. I know, so fickle, right… but then friendships can start out strong and fizzle out with the smallest criticism, or end for the strangest, slightest reasons. Sheila could dish it out alright, but she couldn’t take it. Perhaps she was insecure in herself over events in her own life, and had decided to take it out on me and my son. Certainly many of her criticisms seemed reflective of how she perceived her own upbringing of her children in the past. So I wished her love and light and all the best.

So now I’m wondering if all this means that another older, wiser woman is about to enter my life. Or, whether I’m meant to play the role of the older woman this time. All I know is that recently in the last 2 months, 3 different people have come to me asking for my advice on relationship matters. I certainly am not the best person to lead by example in the relationship stakes…but maybe it’s because I’ve learnt to separate emotions from facts, and have the ability to see the problem objectively from a distance.

Or perhaps my abundance of grey hairs has something to do with appearing wise? 😄

Anyhow, I found some quotes on Google pertaining to how People Come, People Go, and what we’re meant to learn from them. I hope some of these resonate with you, as they do with me. Namaste!

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