Christmas Past

I’m not one for celebrating Christmas in a big way. I used to, back in the old days when I was in “mainstream Society”, working as a drone for HMS UK, and later in retail banking. Those good old days that weren’t that good, really, because all Life was about then was the accummulation of wealth in order to pay bills.

Back in those days, Christmas would be the time to splurge heavily on purchasing expensive items with the intention of impressing the other half, whoever he happened to be at that time. One year I blew £500 on tickets to watch the F1 races at Silverstone in England, plus a leather jacket and a watch for him. In return, he bought me a breadmaker.

I still can’t make bread properly. And, waddling along Silverstone’s racetracks and muddy fields looking for a bench to sit on, whilst 7 months pregnant, is no joke. My sciatica is still with me, 13 years on. I should’ve bought him binoculars instead, the blind bat, as we had walked past our stand twice before we realised it.

Anyway, if you’ve been following my ramblings, you’ve probably realised that my track record with men is very bad indeed. I always seem to find myself with the most unsuitable guys. My track record with gainful employment is only marginally better. I always get left out of promotions and bonuses, somehow. Maybe it’s because of the great big word “MUG” emblazoned across my forehead. Maybe it’s because I refuse to lick boots.

But, toodleloo yaddi ya, yippee kai yay and all that. I’ve learnt my lessons well now. I’ve accepted and adapted to living with my ex separately under the same roof. (Who knew it would work out so well?) I’m not looking for another man in my life (though it would be really nice if one would show up, just to prove my beliefs about men wrong – like Marilyn Monroe once famously said). I’m very happy being a volunteer at a dog shelter, instead of working the 8:30-5:30 grind. I really look forward to the commute and Mondays. I love doing the Diploma Course in Canine Psychology, with the ISCP in the UK. I love reading, and books about dog psychology are so intriguing, I can’t get enough of them.

As for Christmas, it’s not about buying expensive presents or trying to impress people. Not anymore. I’m not religious, so Christmas to me is really just an excuse to put up a tree with pretty decorations and lights, give a few meaningful (and educational) presents to The Kid, make an effort to cook something nice and maybe wear something new if we do go out. It’s also the time for ringing the old folks and various relatives, to wish them well.

So, I guess the moral of today’s story is this: Change is inevitable, and we should embrace it instead of trying to fight it. People change, but only if they’re willing to make sacrifices and learn to leap without first seeing the net below. Because when you’ve made that leap into the unknown, either the net will miraculously appear below you, or you will realise that you can fly.


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