Just Keep Going

When an English ex-pat friend in Spain read my palm 12 years ago, over a lunch of paella and tortilla washed down with sangria (those were the days), he would only say these words “Your life will be very unsettled for the next few years”. And nothing more.

And boy was he right. And it still is.

Maybe my life is not meant to be all smooth sailing, like some people’s. Maybe I’m meant to struggle and never have all that everyone else takes for granted. Maybe it’s my karma to have to learn all of Life’s bitter lessons, because in a past life I was arrogant, ignorant, cruel, wasteful, mean spirited?

I’m not bitter. I’ve learnt my lessons well, and I’m still learning. The biggest lesson was in letting go of what I cannot change, in accepting my circumstances and making the best of it, in the best way I know. Yes, it’s scary as hell, not knowing where your next footfall is going to land, wondering if you’re making the right choices, not knowing where you’re headed next – safety or an even more precarious precipice. Two steps forward, three steps back, it seems sometimes.

But I survived somehow, and if someone as ignorant as me can do it, so can you. Never give up, that’s the main thing. Just keep swimming, as Dory says in the film Finding Nemo. One foot in front of the other, and sooner (or later, as the case may be) you’ll find yourself in a place where you feel safe enough to stop to catch your breath.

And then keep moving.

And you know what, after all the trials and tribulations I’ve been through, all the experiences, hitting rock bottom and clawing my way back up, I don’t feel like I’m in any way further along my spiritual journey than when I first started. I might know a bit more, be a little more self-aware, but I certainly don’t feel like I’m better than anyone else. If anything, I feel like I’ve spent many long hours free-climbing a mountain, with scraped knees, bloody fingers and beautiful purple bruises to come, only to reach the top at last, breathe a sigh of relief, give myself a pat on the back…and see families with their children and dogs enjoying a picnic on the rocks, where they’d simply followed the hiking trail up the mountain, and it had only taken them half an hour. (True story, that).

But that’s completely fine with me too. Life is easy for some. Not so for others. Life is a Journey, and a journey without any distractions, bumps, ups and downs is just boring…like a rollercoaster ride that doesn’t do anything but sit idling on the platform.

These 5 Tarot cards summarise my Life’s Journey so far:

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The Fool. That’s me alright, on my Journey. No matter how long I’ve been on the road, it still feels like I’m only just starting out. I’m so glad I have my faithful dog with me. Mind that first step….!

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The Hanged Man. So many times I’ve been derailed on my Journey’s path. Sometimes the obstacles were simply unmoveable so I had to wait for them to remove themselves instead. Being in Limbo is not nice, because it means even though you want to do something, you can’t. Like when you’re playing a board game and you draw a card that says “Miss a turn”. Or, maybe even “Miss 3 turns”.

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The Tower. Rapunzel was stuck in a tower, and look at how she escaped in the end. Some people lock themselves away in high towers and call it “Success”, when they’re actually just isolating themselves from the rest of Humanity. They call it the Ivory Tower, and dictate from it. It’s a long way to fall down…

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Strength. I’ve called upon this card so many times in the last 12 years, it’s become my business card. I’ve learnt that no matter how bad things can get, Strength is always in me and I can always call on my reserves when needed. It’s why I haven’t given up yet.

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The Wheel of Fortune. Goes up. Comes down. Life is pretty much like the Wheel of Fortune. Only, for some people it seems permanently stuck in the Up position, and for some it’s stuck in the Down position. The important thing for me personally is to bring someone else Up with me, when my Wheel is swinging Up. But never to bring anyone Down with me if I’m headed Down. If I can help others, I will.

So I guess today’s post is about not giving up. No matter what Life throws at you, just keep going. All things pass, Change is inevitable. Embrace, don’t deny.

3 thoughts on “Just Keep Going

  1. Sounds like we have both lead similar paths in life. I just moved 1500 miles and am starting over. So much of what you wrote rings true. The strength card has been a source of encouragment. The tower is what has lead me to this destination and a few others over the years. But in the end, in my opinion we have built strength of character. We have not lead a boring existance where everything is taken for granted. Our life has meaning and purpose. For myself it has made me more aware of who I am and what I want in life. 🙂
    All in all we realize each day is a gift.

    1. Tracy, truer words have never been spoken 👍. Yes, you nailed it 110% when you said what we’ve been through has given us strength of character, and made us aware of who we are and what we want in life. Our Journey, with its many bumps, scrapes, forks in the roads, twists and turns, dead ends and diversions, has shaped us into who we are today.

      That’s brave of you to move 1500 miles on your own. Where did you move from, and where to? May I ask why too? Starting over sounds about right for both of us, funny how our separate lives seem to run along parallel lines. Your story is intriguing, I’d love to hear more about you. Maybe convo in FB? X

      1. Hi AlyZen i have to confess that I seen this message and got side tracked last week. The worst part is when I looked again I could not remember where I read it..DOH!! This site is getting a facelift and in doing so I am doing an online course to learn it better.
        long answer to a short question..lol Would love to chat with you sometime too! It does sound like we have much in common. Relationship gone bad was the main reason I moved plus due to my failing health I am not able to work full time. Finding an affordable place in the area was next to impossible. So I decided to come back to my roots where I lived as a child. The cost of living is much less then where I was and being near the ocean has always brought me much joy.
        This is the short version..lol
        Very interested to hear your tale as well. Brave of you to go back to school but it is never to late. Especially to undertake something you have a true love and passion for.
        Maybe one day we can get together and chat on Fb. That is the best place to reach me..
        Take Care,
        Tracy

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