Secrets of Life

The No.27 Bus Ladies are 3 lovely women who have become my friends this year. It’s quite a story about how we met, but that’s for another time 😉. The ladies are Ida, Marie and Noeleen. We get on so well that we’ve had breakfast in the City before work. Marie, Ida and I catch the No.27 bus from St.Georges Terrace in the CBD, and lately Noeleen has decided to walk from her usual bus stop to ours, so she can join us for a chat while waiting for the bus.

Last week, Ida, who’s a very attractive, svelte 50-something, regaled us with stories of her boyfriend, her ex-boyfriend and another younger man who tried to pick her up on the bus ride home one evening. Boyfriend looks set to be exiting the scene, being so full of himself and having no time for her. Ex-Boyfriend looked to be coming back into her life, but Ida reckons he just wants to get in her pants, so let’s not even go there. Would-be Boyfriend is a mysterious question mark, but maybe he likes older women? Ida’s wondering who she should pick…

Well, I’m glad I don’t have men problems like Ida. I did say to Ida that maybe she didn’t need to choose between her 3 paramours. Maybe she simply needed to learn to love herself and enjoy her own company. She said she often felt lonely, and having a man in her life would make it more exciting. She didn’t want to be on her own.

I’ve been down that route before. I know the empty, aching feeling of not having a partner or boyfriend. I remember the pangs of loneliness stemming from the very idea of being all alone, on my own, unloved by a man, unwanted, left on the shelf, past my sell-by date. I remember asking myself what was wrong with me, that I couldn’t find myself a good, honest, hardworking man, who loved me.

But that was years ago. I’m wiser now, and I’ve learnt one very important Life Lesson that everyone should learn.

And that is: YOU DON’T NEED SOMEONE ELSE TO SAVE OR RESCUE YOU FROM A LIFE OF LONELINESS. YOU JUST NEED TO LOVE YOURSELF.

And it’s true. I’ve learned so much about myself in the last 6 years. I haven’t changed, but rather my perception of Life has. Stuff that used to bother me no longer does. I used to argue about things I felt passionate about, but these days I just shrug internally and think, “Whatever!” I used to try to convince people to see my side of the argument, but now I don’t even bother to engage.

Some of the best lessons/philosophical quotes I’ve learnt are these:

1. You can’t win an argument with an idiot, so don’t even try. It’ll only be a waste of your time and breath.

2. You can’t change anyone’s mind. They have to do it themselves. You can lead a horse to water, but you can’t make it drink, remember that.

3. Why worry? If you can do something about it, why worry? If you can’t do anything about it, what’s the point in worrying?

4. Some people are just impossible to please. It’s not a reflection on yourself, but on them, and there’s nothing you can do about it, so don’t waste your time.

5. Do what you love, and love what you do. It’s not work if you’re passionate about it. Do it for yourself, not for fame or fortune.

6. When someone tries to draw you into their argument or misery, just think “Not my circus, not my monkeys”, and don’t let yourself get emotionally involved.

7. Don’t take things personally. Don’t allow your Egoistic self to rise to the bait. Sometimes the best response is to not respond. Just because someone’s thrown all their toys out the cot, doesn’t mean you should pick the toys up and hand them back.

Anyway, I digress. The most important lesson is to LOVE YOURSELF. Everything else then simply falls into place from there. It’s true. Believe in it!

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