Tag Archives: satire

The Moreitis Eel

The Moreitis Eel is a funny fish
The more you dread it
The more you get it
The more you get it
The less you have it
The less you want it
The more you have it
The more you need it
The less you want it
The less you need it
The more you dread it

…and round and round
We go again
Happily ever after

I told you it was a funny fish
Didn’t I?

Did you get it?

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(Image from this blog, found on Google, thank you).

A Cautionary Christmas Poem

Summer’s here again
Beach towels and bikinis
It’s that time of year
In the Southern Hemisphere
If you live elsewhere though
It’s a different story
There Winter is settling in
Expect snow flurries and storms
Make sure your home is insulated

The countdown to Christmas
Begins in October for many folks
But in our home the tree
Only goes up the week before
And the presents are useful,
Informative or educational
Or all of the above
We do not consume
For consumerism’s sake alone

Santa in the Land Down Under
Prances in a singlet and thongs
His presents are in a drinks cooler
– called an “Esky” in these parts
His sleigh is a Utility Vehicle
– here it’s called a “Ute”
A Santa in traditional garb
Would be a prime candidate
At the ER for heat exhaustion

Tis the Silly Season
Let the games begin
Tis sad how the true Spirit
Of Christmas has changed
When I was growing up
It was a religious celebration
But now it’s just yet another holiday
A reason to binge buy and
Punish the credit card

Load it up, folks
You know you want it
So get it now, why don’t you
– after all, you have all year next year
To try and pay it off
Let’s all live in the future
Paying an eternity of tomorrows
For the dubious pleasures
Of today

Christmas – what does it mean?
A store Santa, hired to drive a
Sled filled with presents
Pulled by fake reindeer
Along a track high in the atrium
Of a shopping mall
Gets derailed and falls
Three storeys down
Splat! Sled, presents, reindeer and all

And what do people do?
Some film the entire thing
On their new mobile phones
– Santa’s about to go viral
Some take selfies
Others stand and stare
But the rest will scramble and
Fight each other
For Santa’s presents on the floor

My dearest wish is that this scenario
Is not the norm of our Society today
– but look at the evidence
As seen in the snaking queues
For the latest iPhones
And in America, Black Friday
The Spirit of Christmas today
Is very much that fat Coca Cola guy
In the red suit Ho Ho Ho!

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Today, the 21st of December, is traditionally the shortest day in the Northern Hemisphere (Winter Solstice) and the longest day in the Southern Hemisphere (Summer Solstice). Because we use the Gregorian calendar, the actual day can vary, from 21-23 December each year. This year, the 2014 Summer Solstice for Perth, Western Australia is 22nd December. Today (or, if you’re pedantic, tomorrow), people near the North Pole will see hardly any sun at all, while people near the South Pole will experience nearly 24 hours of daylight.

Here’s some information on the Solstice, if you’re interested:

http://www.timeanddate.com/calendar/december-solstice.html

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